Thursday, October 30, 2025

We're Back

 It's been a minute since blog updates were needed, and for that we are massively grateful, but here we are again.

Evan started middle school this year. There has been a lot of change, a lot of homework, and a lot of headaches (figuratively and literally). Last Saturday Evan's headaches were so bad that he stayed home from a play we were going to. On Sunday he stayed home from church. On Monday he was in so much pain that we started to seriously consider going to the emergency room just to rule out shunt failure. My hesitancy was the fear of waiting for hours and then not being taken seriously (which is what happened last time he had a shunt failure). But when his pain quickly turned to nausea and vomiting I knew we were in trouble. Learning from the last shunt experience, we chose to go to UC Davis rather than the closer hospitals because we know they have a good neurosurgery department and can communicate easily with all of Evan's imaging, notes, and doctors at UCSF. 

When we arrived Evan's headache had subsided and again I worried they wouldn't take us seriously, but when you check in and say your child has headaches, vomiting, and a shunt, they wasted no time and let us skip the waiting room and get right into a room for testing and evaluation. I was relieved when they wanted to do an x-ray of his shunt track, a rapid mri of his ventricles, and they preventatively placed an iv to draw labs. Evan didn't love all the sit around and wait, but I was glad that they were being thorough. 

The first indication something was wrong was at the x-ray. The shunt usually goes all the way to the abdomen (which I've seen on Evan's x-rays before), but the tech showed me how Evan's shunt stopped at his chest. He said, "Usually I do one more picture of the abdomen but I don't need to because I can see that it ends here." 

*Spoiler alert: We had to go back and take one more picture of the abdomen, where they found the remaining coiled tubing that had become disconnected from the rest of the shunt. This was likely causing his shunt to not work, and it was looking increasingly likely we were headed towards shunt revision surgery.

The doctors were calling UCSF to discuss their thoughts on whether we should go there or stay here. We wanted to do whatever UCSF said because they're the doctors who did his last shunt and have managed his care for the 11 years since then. UCSF said they felt fine either way. We opted to stay for the convenience of the location and the good reviews of the neurosurgery team at UC Davis.

The holdup was wanting to confirm via mri that his ventricles have changed from his most recent mri. The doctors were waiting on imaging from UCSF. I was able to pull up his most recent mri on my phone so I walked out to the doctor to show her. Immediately she said, "Oh, that's very different from today's." And she showed me how last time it was all grey and even and today had large white spots which is the buildup of fluid in his brain. It seemed at that point things started picking up pace. We signed consents, did a shunt tap, and did a 2nd mri to get a closer look at Evan's brain anatomy for the possibility of an ETV procedure (more on that in a minute). When the risks were being explained, Evan got pretty emotional. It's the first time he has had shunt surgery where he's been aware and old enough to know what's going on. He said, "That's a lot of risks." I told him that's true, and the risks sound really bad (uh, hello--death?!), but the risks are also very small. I told him about how Dad and I have been told these risks every time he's needed shunt surgery, and we've always made the decision that is the best for him for the long term, and he's always been okay. He said, "I want to see someone before surgery." I said, "You mean, you want to see Dad?" He said, "Yeah." Isaiah was happy to come and have a few moments before Evan had to go in. But since he had work the next day I was the lucky one to stay for a late night surgery and overnight recovery. I was actually shocked they scheduled surgery so quickly. I thought for sure it would be scheduled for the next morning.

Evan was so brave--no crying when I said goodbye at the entrance to the OR. Surgery went well. I was thrilled that he woke up quickly after in the recovery room (a pleasant change from the last shunt experience). He had some funny answers when the doctor came to check on him.

Hi Ethan, tell me your name.
Evan.
Oh, right, sorry. Where are we?
Here.
Right, but where is here? Where are we?
We're here. (waves arms all around)
What year is it?
1995 
Are you sure? Is it 1995 or 2025?
(mischievous smirk)
What did you do today?
A lot
Why are you here?
Hmm...maybe to shave my hair?

I cracked up, but honestly couldn't quite tell if he was being cheeky or loopy. But the nurse told me he had already woken up and correctly answered everything so he was fine. Then Evan asked me, "Is my watch charging?" so I knew he was back.

The next day was the slow process of checking things off for discharge: Eat, drink, go to the bathroom, walk, manage pain, follow-up imaging, get visited by some Star Wars characters. 


He was hesitant to move around at first because for the past few days he had so much discomfort when changing positions. I think he was surprised to feel better after surgery than he did before, and no more headaches! He has recovered SO quickly. He has some incision pain and skin irritation, but in retrospect he has probably had a very slow shunt failure over at least the past couple months, and so I can only imagine how nice it must feel for him now to have a clear head. Today is day 1 at home and he was asking to go ride his bike or scooter to a friend's house. Sadly, those are both major NO's right after brain surgery. But he did walk with me to the park and sat and talked with his friend like nothing had happened. He is such a tough kid. He's excused from school all week but he said if I let him he could go tomorrow. I'm not going to let him. 

Now for details about the shunt surgery for those who appreciate the medical details. The old tubing came out, but since it's old and has likely adhered to things over the years it broke off when being pulled out. This was expected. Evan's broke around the base of his neck, so the segment from his neck to chest is still there. The broken-off coiled catheter in his abdomen is also likely attached to some stuff and would cause more harm to remove, so it's abandoned and will live in him. A new, programmable shunt was placed. It has the ability to adjust how much fluid it drains. 

In addition to all this, Evan's doctor, Dr. Sadegh, has been trained in a procedure called Endoscopic Third Ventriculostomy (ETV). As I interpret the doctor's explanation--don't quote me on this--our upper 3 ventricles in our brain typically drain through a certain passage into the 4th ventricle. Evan has blockage through that passage which is why his fluid builds up in his brain without a shunt. The shunt allows the fluid to have a path down to the abdomen where it is safely absorbed into the body. There is a location in the third ventricle where there is a pathway option that bypasses the blocked area. It has a thin membrane at the top. If this membrane can be reached and punctured, the fluid can drain through that way. When Evan was an infant they evaluated his anatomy to see if he was a candidate for the ETV and he wasn't. They said it was too hard to access. Dr. Sadegh saw a possible route there. He said he would try to do it, but if it seemed too risky then he would stop. Regardless, Evan would have a shunt. But if he had the ETV then he would have less reliance on the shunt which means less risk of future shunt failures. 

The report after surgery was that the first membrane was punctured, which some people would consider an ETV. But Dr. Sadegh's training taught him to also put a hole in a membrane at the bottom of this path. That one he couldn't safely get through, so he considers Evan to have a partial ETV. They set his shunt accordingly to pump quite a bit of the fluid out rather than relying on the ETV. However, prior to discharge they did a follow-up mri to check the fluid flow. Dr. Sadegh called me to say he was very surprised that the flow looks really good at the ETV site and it seems to be working better than expected. So he changed the flow of the shunt to essentially be off. We will continue to monitor regularly over the next few weeks and months to see if this holds true, which would be great news for Evan in the long run. 

As always, times like these allow us to see how much goodness is out there in the world. We have had countless offers for meals, childcare, visits, treats. Thank you to everyone who has cared, prayed for us, asked for updates. We're so lucky to have the best community and family around us. Thank you.

Friday, November 29, 2024

$50,000 Bon Bons

 $50,000 Bon Bons


1/4 cup butter

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 pkg milk chocolate chips

2 cups flour

1 tsp vanilla

60-70 Hershey Hugs, unwrapped


Melt butter and chocolate chips. Add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla. Mix well. Take off heat and add flour. Batter will be thick. Grease hands with butter. Take 1 rounded tsp of dough and wrap around 1 Hershey hug. Roll into ball and place on ungreased cookie sheet. Repeat until all hugs are wrapped or dough is all used. Bake at 350°F for 7-8 minutes. Bon bons will be shiny but will harden as they cool.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Potty Talk--SB Edition

I tell my kids constantly to stop using potty words, and yet here I am doing potty talk on the internet. 

Anyway...I've mentioned before that I've been able to attend Spina Bifida leadership institute where I have met incredibly fun people who understand and relate to my life in a different way than most people can. In that group we can talk openly about uncomfortable topics, like potty talk. After all, Spina Bifida is much more than difficulty walking. Bowel and bladder incontinence is almost always a given.

So at leadership institute last year, I met a man with Spina Bifida who I really connected with. Although he is a few years older than me, I saw a lot of my son in him--who my son could be, what his life could be like as a working, professional, adult male with Spina Bifida. At some point this guy was sharing an experience where he was in a very public position, presenting in front of a crowd or something, and he...had an accident. He went #2 in his pants right there, up on stage, where the show must go on. I was both laughing and crying through his telling of the story. Not where you're laughing so hard you're crying, but actually crying because I have seen my son in a similar space and I know the horror and trauma. It's not funny. But then also laughing because, years removed from this experience, this man was able to move on with his life with the understanding that Spina Bifida really stinks, sometimes literally, but life goes on. He was able to find the humor in the situation that is all too common when bowel control is just non-existent. 

I went to the store today to pick up a prescription and stock up on enemas for Evan. Since he's had a regular enema routine he's been much more successful with avoiding accidents, especially at school. I only had Cameron with me, and he wanted to help carry the boxes of enemas. As we stood in the checkout line, a lady behind us was watching Cameron, so he started smiling at her and dancing around, showing off the enemas he was holding. My first reaction was embarrassment. I felt like I needed to explain, or hide them, or quickly put the "blame" on my son by saying something like, "Those aren't for me." But then I thought, so what? What if they were for me? If I needed an enema, especially for something 100% out of my control (like SB), I would owe no explanation to a stranger behind me in line. And I should have zero shame about it. So I didn't say anything. I hope she got a good laugh out of Cameron's dancing and showing off our enemas today.

On the way out the door, as I'm holding the prescription and 4 boxes of enemas, the employee at the door said, "Ohhh, someone's having a procedure! That's horrible!" In my shock, I just kept walking, but it would've been a good teaching opportunity for her. As a matter of fact, lady, this is just normal life with Spina Bifida. And it's not horrible. Enemas are a wonderful tool that my son has to keep his body healthy and regular. 

I still disapprove of most potty talk at home, but you know what? It's gonna happen when you live with Spina Bifida, and sometimes it helps to find humor in it.

PS. My big guy turned 9 this month!







Monday, March 22, 2021

Spring Break to Redding

Seth: One time we went to a hotel. And there was an alarm clock there. And we liked to look out the windows to see our car. When we were there we started to unpack. We swimmed in the pool. And it was pretty cold but we got used to it. And me and Evan were swimming all the way to the 5 feet part. And mom holded Cam when he was swimming. And the first day we got there, for dinner we got pizza so mom got out and went all the way to Domino's to get pizza. From Redding ALL the way to Domino's. And we drank hot chocolate. We watched basketball every day. And the second [morning] we watched Saturday cartoons and so we watched Power Rangers. We got some breakfast in the morning. I liked that we got to pick our breakfast. The part I liked was they had some Danishes. First I had a cheese Danish and second I had an apple Danish. On the first day (Friday) we went to go hiking and after we played fishing. We catched just one fish. It was like a black bass.  (The people in the boat near us caught it.) We did swimming again and had nachos for dinner. And when we were going home we went to a store with lots of fun games (the arcade at Oasis Fun Center). I liked air hockey and I won.

Evan: On the first day we unpacked in Redding. And then we went to our hotel room and we took the stuff out. There was a bed, a TV...there were curtains. We went swimming. I took some swimming lessons without my floaties. We went under water...well, I did. We got hot chocolate and then we had pizza for dinner. We watched some basketball games. I thought I would sleep better in my bedroom, but I actually slept better in the hotel. In the morning we got breakfast. There were Danishes. That was my favorite part. We ate breakfast in our hotel room. We went fishing and saw some people catching some bass, some black bass. Dad put a new reel on my fishing pole. It worked pretty good. We went swimming. This time when we went swimming we saw coins. We watched some more basketball games. We had nachos for one of the days. Then we got ready for bed and went to bed. The next morning is when we packed. We went to the arcade. We got to do skee-ball and a racing game. [My favorite was] the basketball game where we got the most points and the most tickets. And when we finished we had 101 tickets! We got to pick some prizes. Then we drove all the way home and had In-N-Out. Then we drove the rest of the way home.








Evan learned how to whistle on this trip

Saturday, March 13, 2021

2019 Photo Dump

 I've missed posting some pictures here...

Our annual trip to Redding this year (2019) involved taking family pictures for the first time in 3 years and having the Esparto Hudson/Sefos join us.








I made a Very Hungry Caterpillar cake for Cameron's 1st birthday because he is a very hungry boy. He loves food. Clara Cobb was the only one to join us for dinner and cake since we would be seeing family for Seth's birthday/Thanksgiving the next day.

Birthday Bucks





After having Cameron steal his birthday thunder last year--remember, I had just had Cameron so we ate cake in the hospital--this year Seth had to deal with his birthday being ON Thanksgiving. He really didn't seem to mind. I let him pick what pie he wanted, and then told him his birthday party would be on Saturday, and he was cool not doing much on his actual birthday.




We invited preschool and ward friends for Seth's dinosaur birthday party. He got approximately 9,723 dinosaur toys, and loved it. They broke frozen dino eggs (Seth was the only casualty of little kids playing with hammers), played Pin the Horn on the Triceratops, and had a dinosaur soundtrack in the background while eating Seth's favorite foods: mac & cheese, fruit, rolls, and Dinosaur cake, of course.




Apple Hill

Always the mechanic


This is probably about when both boys became voracious independent readers.











Breakfast with Santa & Mrs. Claus


Kids & Cocoa at Evan's school