August 9, 2015

I have the cutest kid ever.

And now I'm gonna have the TWO cutest kids ever!

I'm 20 weeks pregnant.
The baby is a boy.*
My due date is December 26.
Because of my fetal surgery incision I will have a scheduled c-section around 36 weeks, which puts the baby coming on Thanksgiving weekend.
I still intend (cautiously optimistically) to attend the Packard family reunion.
The baby does not appear to have spina bifida.**
We will not be naming this child.
Ever...
...Unless it's cool to name him Evan, which is the only boy name we can agree on.
Morning sickness is still going strong, but it's well-managed under medication so I feel good.

*Everyone knows I wanted a girl, God included. So although I shed a few tears when the ultrasound tech said, "Boy," I know that this baby is definitely supposed to be a boy. And now all I can think of are the many reasons why he will fit just perfectly in our family.

**Even though the cause of spina bifida is unknown (with possible links to genetics and possible links to folic acid), I was advised to take a mega-dose of folic acid prior to, and throughout, my pregnancy to lower the risk of having another child with spina bifida. When people asked my thoughts about having another child I always said something like--"Sure, I don't want another child to have spina bifida, but if it does have it we won't be that crushed. It would be a totally different ball game since fetal surgery would be out of the question, but we already know so much about spina bifida that we'd be able to handle it." Even though this is what I told people, I wasn't sure if I actually meant it. Would I actually melt down if I was given this diagnosis again? I did a slightly more detailed set of blood tests to find out our chances. When the nurse told me the blood work came back negative, I felt happy, but not really relieved or like a burden was lifted. I really wasn't too concerned about spina bifida. That feeling kind of told me that my words were true, and I stand by what I said for babies in the future.

Going through some of Evan's old clothes and toys today made me so happy we're having another boy. Not only are there lots of nice memories of Evan as a baby, but I'm also reminded of the generosity of so many people who gave us things. It was a CRAZY time, but it brought out so much goodness in people. I'm excited for myself to have a baby and excited for Evan to have a baby brother. He is already proving to be the sweetest big brother. He seems to understand what's going on pretty well. "Baby is tiny." "Baby is in Mama's tummy." "Baby is growing." "Be soft to the baby."

Me: Evan, what should we call the baby?
Evan: Tiny baby